When the creative juices flow, there’s a demand from the soul that we take the time to settle in, listen and allow. Personally, I always have a little bit of resistance towards letting the things come through that desire to come through. I’m stubborn like that. I’m eager and at the same time I’m afraid. And isn’t this a widespread thing?
So, what are we afraid of? Why does it feel like there is a big lump in your throat every time you want to sing your heart out? Why is your hand shaking when you’re about to make that first stroke with your paintbrush on the blank canvas? Why does it hurt so much in your chest when you’re just mustering up the courage to touch that person’s hand even when you know they’re waiting for it? And why do you seem to be absolutely frozen when the music starts and all eyes are on you yet the deep pounding of the beat is inspiring you to move freer than ever?
Oh, you thought you were the only one to ever experience such a block? Nah, this is a universal thing. Writers call it the writer’s block and I have theory about it. I don’t believe that there’s no motivation, no excitement. On the contrary, I believe there’s too much of it. And that fear overtakes us and makes us slip into the more comfortable belief of not having enough of it. We become paralyzed. Because let’s be honest, it’s easier to say that there’s nothing there, that we’re empty than to yield to abundance. It gives us an excuse to hold back and give nothing. To make sure nothing changes too much It’s safe. Because if we were to acknowledge that there’s something there, well… we’d have to get going with it, wouldn’t we? We’d have to crack open and let it out regardless of how unsettling it feels to allow uncertainty to flow through us.
Because let’s be honest, most of us creatives have absolutely no clue what’s going to come out until it’s all right in front of us. We’re not the planning type. We can’t say exactly which colors are going to be in the painting until the painting has revealed itself with every color and every shade. We don’t know what that character will say until he himself has spoken them and it’s all suddenly on paper, regardless of how much we think we can control it all with the mind. Nor will the dancer know which move will come next until the movement has already been embodied and carried through. And the singers voice will always surprise even the singer himself, or else the music will become dull and predictable.
And isn’t this the way we’d rather live? With at least a tiny bit of insecurity- leaving room for those moments of astonishment and amazement. There is a certain bliss that happens when things are allowed to be the way they want to be without us interfering too much with our so often praised will power. Will power can do many things for us, but it can never surprise us the way surrendering to creativity and flow can. It’s that word, serendipity, which comes into fulfillment and reveals to us that the fragments of life are in fact deeply coherent and always leading up to something better than we could have ever imagined.
I guess what I’m saying is, don’t get stuck in the how. Trust that feeling and give yourself the chance to overcome the initial block in any way that feels good to you. Practice the yoga of life, surrendering to the reality of every day. Because when life does come through, well… so do you. And when that happens, it’s pretty damn magic.